Topics. Continue with Recommended Cookies. " George Carlin 15. He loves you. I look at war a little. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. BAM! (function () { Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? They own you. The table is tilted, folks. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? stylesheet.type = "text/css"; for(var i=0; i. [CDATA[ We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. return cookiePair[1]; Save the planet! Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? if (a[a9]) return; Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. Are these people kidding? I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. You don't. You have no choice. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? They own, and control the corporations. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. It will not be with jack-boots. Its disgusting, man. #privileges. October 29, 2004. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. var cookie = cookies[i]; A = p.createElement(s); "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If you burn the flag, youre burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. } var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Stand-Up Comedy. Just daydreaming. apstag.init({ If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? window.csa("Config", { function q(c, r) { As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. }, Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. (function() { Never argue with an idiot. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. They should be more vivid. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Seems like a big waste of time to me! You know what they ought to do with churches? Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Government is an important institution. Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? 3. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. I hate groups of people. Enjoy! "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. // Its so f***ing heroic. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Aw, hes a comedian. I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. Tax them. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. " George Carlin Quotes The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. Weve added years to life, not life to years. } The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? He was an American standup comedian. Were so self-important. //=0){return}if("ue_https" in e){f=e.ue_https}else{f=e.location&&e.location.protocol=="https:"?1:0}i=f? They own you. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", gads.type = "text/javascript"; I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. //
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